More Than Existing
A Depiction of Trans Love
“There is this huge association of transness with sorrow and I think that it's really important to highlight the ways in which being trans can be joyous and wonderful and important for people and something that people would actively choose to be.” ~ Jesse
Chlo Southworth and Jaz Warzynska are proud to present More than Existing: A Depiction of Trans Love – an emotive photography project launched in 2022 that celebrates the beauty of trans connections in all their wonderful forms.
Emphasising the love and admiration that trans and non-binary people hold for themselves and one another through their most important connections, the project celebrates the positive impact of transness on relationships – something that is often overlooked in mainstream media.
Through a series of intimate portraits and personal stories, More Than Existing: A Depiction of Trans Love celebrates trans individuals and the connections in their lives that make them feel seen, loved and supported.
Graphic: Jaz Warzynska
Meet the artists
This exhibition has been shot, curated and produced by Chlo and Jaz, two trans members of Greater Manchester’s queer community. Jaz is Community Engagement Officer at Manchester Pride.
“Thank you to everyone who took part in this project, for your trust in us and vulnerability, and for welcoming us without hesitation into your relationships, homes and safe spaces.” ~ Chlo and Jaz
Chlo Southworth
They/them
“I feel so privileged to have encountered so much trans love in this short period of time. I hope that people see that and are just as touched as we are. There's something so special about the exhibition, about seeing the representation trans people need and deserve.” ~ Chlo
All photography by Chlo Southworth
Jaz Warzynska
They/them
“The love that we’ve experienced while creating this project has been so overwhelming. It really is a reflection of the love that can be found in the trans community. There wasn’t a shoot where Chlo and I didn’t leave full of joy, and I hope that people can catch even a glimpse of that.” ~ Jaz
Digital Exhibition
Char & Mars
They/them & They/them
During our time together Char, talked to us about what dating a trans person meant to them as they were discovering their own transness and about the importance of community when trying to discover who you are. By being in a relationship where gender expression and gender identity are viewed separately, it allowed Char and Mars to develop a more authentic view of themselves.
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"It took me quite a while feeling comfortable presentinq femininely as a non-binary person because for a long time I felt as though that made me a girl or made me appear as a girl. Now I feel like I don't really have a gender and I just present in whatever way I want and whether I'm presenting more masculine or feminine that doesn't equate to gender for me" - Char
"I see presentation and identity rather differently. With presentation, I see it as more gender fluid but on a wide spectrum. Within those binaries there is always a non-binary element as clothes or makeup, to me, don't really have a gender. It's more how I want to dress my body at the time." - Mars
They took us around the places they used to go rollerskating during lockdown - one of the many pandemic-friendly dates they had to think of - and talked to us about their lives together so far. How they met, and how important the queer music scene in Manchester is to them both. Like many couples in this exhibition, their transness was nothing big, nothing obvious, it was just another part of who they were that allowed them to grow closer.
“Because we have a lot of shared experiences in how we think about things but also at the same time different experiences with being trans it has brought us closer together and those differences have allowed us to learn about each other which brings the relationship closer together." - Char
Jaz & Sim
They/them & He/him
Jaz describes Sim's attitude towards their transness as a 'positive nonchalance!’. Their transness matters to the wider world, but in the context of their relationship, it has little impact. The impact that it has had is mostly positive, where Jaz's involvement in queer spaces and in exploring their gender identity and expression has allowed Sim to enter those spaces too, to see where else he fits in. Trans joy can be found in the simplest of moments, and for Sim and Jaz, that joy can be found walking together with their dog, Mango.
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"Because I don't fit the social standards of what has been originally expected of me, it opens that door in the relationship for neither of us to do what is socially expected of us. If one of us wants to try something new there's no worry about experimentation or presentation." - Jaz
Since they came out as trans 7 years ago, the world that Jaz has lived in has been predominantly queer. They had spent time learning who they were and finding themselves within that trans identity. If they were to introduce anyone into their life, that person would have to bring the love and respect that they knew they deserved.
"Jaz and I aren't made up for entertainment, we're made to communicate and love each other" - Sim
Jaz describes Sim's attitude towards their transness as a 'positive nonchalance!’. Their transness matters to the wider world, but in the context of their relationship it has little impact. The impact that it has had is mostly positive, where Jaz's involvement in queer spaces and in exploring their gender identity and expression has allowed Sim to enter those spaces too, to see where else he fits in.
Trans joy can be found in the simplest of moments, and for Sim and Jaz, that joy can be found walking together with their dog, Mango.
"Chores are never boring when they're with you. Every day life is just a lot better when I have you to talk to" - Sim
Chlo & Jack
They/them & He/him
Coming out to a cisgender partner is always a daunting idea, but for Jack it was just a relief, and then a joy. For Jack and Chlo, transness isn't a hindrance in their relationship, but an opportunity to get to know each other better, feel liberated in all aspects of their identities and expression, and to open the door to better communication. The only difficulty Jack has had dating a trans person is learning that he can't fix the way the world looks at trans people, but for Chlo, the acceptance and understanding that they get from Jack is more than enough.
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"I love that he sees me for myself - not just who I am, but who I want to be. He knows how I want to be seen by the world and he knows that without me saying anything." - Chlo
After showcasing so many relationships from behind the camera, Chlo felt as though it was important to capture their relationship themselves. Their relationship is exactly what it looks like, it's cosy, it's simple, and it's wonderful. It was important to Chlo to show that you can be trans and in a relationship with a cis person, and more than that, you can be unconditionally loved.
"Before Chlo came out I was wondering what was wrong, or if I was doing something wrong. But as soon as they came out and spoke about certain things, it made sense. It lowered the barrier of communication and I understood them better." - Jack
Coming out to a cisgender partner is always a daunting idea, but for Jack it was just a relief, and then a joy. For Jack and Chlo, transness isn't a hindrance in their relationship, but an opportunity to get to know each other better, feel liberated in all aspects of their identities and expression, and to open the door to better communication. The only difficulty Jack has had dating a trans person is learning that he can't fix the way the world looks at trans people, but for Chlo the acceptance and understanding that they get from Jack is more than enough.
"A big thing I've had to learn is that you can't have all the answers, and that can be hard because if you can't find the answer, you feel like you're doing something wrong. But sometimes you just need to listen." - Jack
Rob & Jesse
They/them & They/them
Talking to Rob and Jesse, you get the idea that these are two people who understand the importance of looking visibly trans, and the impact that their transness has on the wider world. For them, accepting themselves wasn't only widely beneficial to their relationship, but to other people they share spaces with.
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"There is this huge association of transness with sorrow and I think that it's really important to highlight the ways in which being trans can be joyous and wonderful and important for people and something that people would actively choose to be." - Jesse
Talking to Rob and Jesse, you get the idea that these are two people who understand the importance of looking visibly trans, and the impact that their transness has on the wider world. For them, accepting themselves wasn't only widely beneficial to their relationship, but to other people they share spaces with.
"I think that being queer and Jewish and building that space together has been really valuable for me. I always feel that it's quite important for me that when I'm doing queer stuff to be visibly Jewish, and to be visibly queer when I'm going into Jewish spaces" -Jesse
Time and again the conversation circled back to the joy within community and home, how important both queerness and being Jewish is to their household, and how one can't exist without the other. Being trans doesn't exist in a vacuum, and has so many positive impacts on other parts of identity. By being in a relationship that fully accepts transness, Rob and Jesse have created a space where they can explore other parts of themselves without fear of judgement.
"As our relationship has changed and our genders have changed, this naturally provokes thoughts around other aspects of our identity. I think that when it comes to faith, when we're building a home and your family doesn't look like a traditional nuclear family by default, you have to have questions and you have to think critically about things." - Rob
Grae & Misha
He/him & She/her
Seeing the way that Grae and Misha love each other is a reminder that it is a joy and a privilege to love a trans person, and to be loved by a trans person. Loving trans people adds so much to ideas of what gender and expression can mean. By giving space to allow trans people to explore their identity, you can also give that space to yourself.
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"The reason I want to go up there is because it's a really big and open space and that's how I feel when I'm with Misha. Just like there's no one else in the world and it's just a vast expanse and when it's just us two there, it's just incredible. It's more than a place, it's just you." - Grae
By loving a trans person so fully and authentically, it can give us space to understand who we are. Grae and Misha met at the perfect time, Grae was just coming to accept that he was a trans man, and had just started dating Misha. Looking back, Misha's love for Grae is so pure and apparent it seemed silly to Grae that he was so worried about coming out to her.
"When I came out as trans, it was easier with you than anyone I have ever met. I could just trust you more than anybody. I didn't expect the person I was in a relationship with to be the easiest person to come out to but it was. And that was amazing." - Grae
"Now it's mostly a joy to watch him grow into himself and occupy a new body that feels more like him and move about the world in a way that feels more like him. And he's so much happier, noticeably happier." - Misha
Seeing the way that Grae and Misha love each other was a reminder that it is a joy and a privilege to love a trans person and be loved by a trans person. Loving trans people adds so much to ideas of what gender and expression can mean. By giving space to allow trans people to explore their identity, you can also give that space to yourself.
"I'm surrounded by lots of trans people and I love lots of trans people, and I think being around them has definitely relaxed my view of what it means to be a woman." - Misha
Syd & Klaus
He/they & any pronouns
Syd and Klaus are wonderful examples of why representation matters; why being visibly queer and gender non-conforming can only be a benefit to others around them. By loving trans people, we're not only loving the individuals themselves, but loving any person who might be questioning their gender identity.
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"I like being visibly trans and visibly gender non-confirming because l know that if I do that then other people will know that they can be like that too. Knowing that if I walk down the street dressed how I want to present there might be some little kid that goes "I can do that!' and it's so nice." - Klaus
Syd and Klaus are wonderful examples of why representation matters. Why being visibly queer and gender non-conforming can only be a benefit to others around them. By loving trans people, we're not only loving the individuals themselves, but loving any person who might be questioning their gender identity.
"My dad recently came out as gender-fluid to us and she was just like "seeing you guys do all of this gave me the confidence to be who I want to be". Being visibly out is just so beneficial to everyone." - Klaus
Being disabled, neurodivergent, and polyamorous, their queer platonic relationship is far from what society would expect. By breaking so many societal standards, neither of them are worried to break some more. Their relationship showcases the liberation that queer, trans, disabled identities not only bring to a relationship, but to the world.
"It was one of those things where being both disabled and being queer kind of interlinked, because I'm already having to break barriers and get stared at and have people be surprised by doing one thing, so it doesn't really matter if I do it with another thing. If I was walking down the street with a walking stick or in a wheelchair, people are staring at me, so it doesn't really matter if they look at me and also go 'is that a girl or a boy?' because they're already staring." - Syd
Eli & Jade
He/him & She/her
Even before Eli came out, Jade was his Pride buddy. Canal street has always been a place where they can meet after work and let loose. Talking to them it was blatant that these were two people who were so comfortable with each other. When people come out as trans, there's always a worry that their friends are going to react negatively, but Jade will always be in Eli's corner.
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"Before I came out I was worried about upsetting people but now I feel that if someone is disappointed that's up to them. I've got to live my life how I want. At the end of the day, it's either me or other people's opinions and I have to pick myself. It was quite freeing to do so" - Eli
Eli and Jade have been friends since secondary school. When they first met, they hated each other until a mutual enemy on a Spanish trip brought them together, and they've been best friends ever since.
"I could see in his face how relieved he was and so to me that's all that mattered. To know that he then felt happy and secure in who he was. No other thoughts came into my head apart from he's now gonna be okay!” - Jade
Eli and Jade now describe themselves as more like family, to the point where Eli has lived with Jade's parents when Jade wasn't even living at home anymore. When Eli came out as trans, it never even crossed Jade's mind to see him any differently. All she cared about was if he was going to be safe and happy.
Even before Eli came out, Jade was his Pride buddy. Canal street has always been a place where they can meet after work and let loose. In talking to them, it was blatant to see that these were two people who were so comfortable with each other. When people come out as trans, there's always a worry that their friends are going to react negatively, but Jade will always be in Eli's corner.
"She's unwavering in her stance. If someone doesn't like the fact that I'm trans, she'll stand there and explain why they're going to have to like it. Nothing shocks her." - Eli
Marilyn & Joe
She/they & He/they
The best way to describe Joe and Marilyn's relationship is CAMP. From the moment we sat down to talk, the room was filled with giddy energy and we bounced off one another. Their relationship felt like everything that is good about radical queerness: an unwavering acceptance of the other person filled with laughter.
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"I feel like for every major event in my life and with my gender, Joe has been there in some capacity. At first it was more of a background figure and then as a more prominent figure, but you've always been around. When I think about everything with queer Manchester, it's always been Joe." - Marilyn
The best way to describe Joe and Marilyn's relationship is CAMP. From the moment we sat down to talk, the room was filled with giddy energy that bounced off one another. Their relationship felt like everything that is good about radical queerness: an unwavering acceptance of the other person filled with laughter.
Joe has been a huge source of support in Marilyn's life, allowing both of them a space to play with gender and reclaim campness. Existing as fat and queer (and in Marilyn's case autistic too) they both felt, literally and figuratively, that they didn't fit in anywhere. After finding community, Marilyn and Joe have worked to create spaces that celebrate these parts of themselves. Part of creating those spaces is driven by a political need to foster community and space where fat, queer, gender non-confoming people can feel sexy and desired, but mostly, it's a beautiful drive to be the centre of attention.
"The fatness binds us together. We both grew up fat so knowing what that experience is and what it's like and we both know where fatness intersects with gender. I think because of that our relationship is definitely based on euphoria, celebrating and making platforms for each other." - Joe
"I am fat and I am trans and I want to be the belle of the ball!" - Marilyn
Jack
He/him
A boxing club wasn't the place we thought we would find trans love, but that's exactly where Jack invited us. In a time when trans people's place in sport is constantly being questioned, Northern PowerHouse Boxing Academy is a refreshing change. The acceptance that Jack found here came at the right time, and the gym has become a space he can go to just be himself.
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A boxing club wasn't the place we thought we would find trans love, but that's exactly where Jack invited us. In a time when trans people's place in sport is constantly being questioned, Northern PowerHouse Boxing Academy is a refreshing change. The acceptance that Jack found here came at the right time, and the gym has become a space he can go to just be himself. This is a place of acceptance and of love. A space where nobody is thinking about Jack's gender, just how hard he can punch.
"I repeatedly say that this place has saved me mentally, physically and socially. I can't afford a therapist but I can afford to box." - Jack
Boxing became so intrinsic to his mental and physical well-being that, apart from his children and family, it was two members of the club that Jack came out to first. Talking to Chris and Tom, it became frustratingly clear how easy it is to accept trans people in sport, and how accepting spaces we consider to be traditionally masculine can be. Tom and Chris are perfect examples of how cisgender people should be when somebody comes out as trans. It wasn't a big deal to them, it just means that Jack has to punch more men.
"It wasn't a big revelation or a big moment, it was just sort of like, ‘yep, fine!’ I'm not particularly good with names but as soon as you said you were Jack, I never had to think twice" - Tom
"The moment someone steps through that door and puts their wraps on, it doesn't matter who they are outside. Here they’re a boxer and that's how we're going to treat them." - Chris
Sacha & John
He/him & He/him
By loving a trans person, Sacha and John have created a home. Their relationship feels settled and easy, our interview was interrupted by their cat, and the remains of their latest D&D session were scattered over the dining room table. They got married a year and a half ago, and are currently going through the adoption process together. Everything that you think you might lose by coming out as trans; a family, a home, a friendship group, was all found in the walls of Sacha and John's home.
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"He had a way of affirming me without being fake or putting me on a pedestal. It was just very natural and very comfortable." - Sacha
By loving a trans person, Sacha and John have created a home. Their relationship feels settled and easy, our interview was interrupted by their cat, and the remains of their latest D&D session were scattered over the dining room table. They got married a year and a half ago, and are currently going through the adoption process together.
Everything that you think you might lose by coming out as trans; a family, a home, a friendship group, was all found in the walls of Sacha and John's home.
"It's somewhere that's ours. It's something we can put our individual stamp on together. We can have people round but on the other hand we can lock the door and just cuddle up on the sofa. It's a place that's a unique combination of things that we wouldn't find anywhere else." - John
Depictions of being trans are always filled with grief and unacceptance, but that is exactly the opposite of what John and Sacha represent. John was not ashamed of gushing over how much he loved Sacha, and the life that they had built together seemed so comfortable and easy. Even in the early stages of dating, Sacha being trans was never a big concern for John, and instead he just accepted and advocated for Sacha's transition.
